tweet said it a little better "smoking cigarettes at night". im not sure but could it just be apart of human nature to keep going back to what is not good for you? me on the other hand i keep going back addicted to the pain and suffering that was once endured. addicted to the lies and deceit, and the harm done to my own heart. i havent gotten a clue as to why, but i we all keep that tiny amount a faith in us that things could be better.
she said to move on and thats what i did. of course it took time. but at the end of the day i found myself again. "what doesnt kill you only makes you stronger". whoever came up with that saying damn sure was not lying. im better than ever right now. with so much focus and energy its almost as if i was reincarnated into some kind of human X 2. i didnt need the her confusion and madness to ruin what i have fought so hard to get through.
she says this is who she is and i must accept it. well i dont accept it so K.I.M. she says we shouldnt speak at all i say "ok" then she sends me a text message at night wanting to know what club im working at and where she is. why? because she wants to see me. she wants to see me to try and strip me of my accomplishments or maybe she does me. but i have to start protecting myself so why should i be vulnerable to her confusion and misleading messages. so i can get walked on? and she can pat herself on the back?
i have come across some very fabulous women. one very wonderful one. but i could be cheating myself and her by getting to involved. when you still have feelings about the last. not the type of feelings where you can hook back up any moment. but the type of feelings where you care and you dont want to see someone you care about getting hurt.
i dont know i put myself through this nonsense constantly. i guess im just some kind of freak for pain.